The Homeless Brave Ireland’s Coldest Weather

 

 

 

 

The icy weather freezes the city and temperatures drop to a staggeringly minus 11 degrees Celsius.

It’s the worst winter Ireland has seen in almost half a century. The air is so cold it hurts your lungs and stings your eyes. In fact the cold is all you can think about. The few stragglers who wander around the almost empty Dublin city are swaddled in hats, scarves, gloves and large duffel coats. The steam from peoples breath escapes from the small space on their face left uncovered.

“I’ve never seen it so quiet,” says Martin Murphy, 29, a former homeless person, who now lives in transitional accommodation. “It’s like a ghost town.”

Patiently we scour the streets. There are cardboard boxes and blankets where the homeless have been already, but have been moved on. In the empty night we see many squad cars slowly circling the city.

Then we spot Paddy*. He is sitting on a white covered O’ Connell Bridge in the dense frozen fog.

We approach Paddy and crouch down beside him. He is visibly shivering, his teeth chattering together. He is 30 years of age and has been on the streets for four years.

“I’ve been a heroine addict since I was 25. I was an alcoholic and I took ecstasy, coke, you name it since 16. I’ve been clean five times but I keep relapsing.” He tell me he has only been back out of the streets since the beginning of December when he came out of prison.

“It’s been a very cold winter,” he says. “One day last week I woke up at six in the morning. I couldn’t get back to sleep because my toes were so cold. I had to go over to McDonalds over there to warm up.”

I ask him why he is here and not inside. “I don’t like the hostels,” he explains. “I know it sounds stupid because I’m on drugs. But I don’t like the junkies that hang around those hostels. I’m trying to get clean and they don’t help.”

Martin agrees. “You have to sleep with your shoes tied to your chest and your belongings under your pillow. Sometimes you wake up the smell of death – someone having died from an overdose in the night.” The man shivers and continues, his eyes empty of emotion.

“I sometimes have somewhere to go. I could go back to my ex-girlfriends. But I’m trapped up here to get money for gear. I’ll probably go sleep in the doorway of that Internet café over there tonight,” he says pointing down the street.

We leave Paddy and go to the homeless hostel to see if there is anyone waiting outside. Down a back alley, in the faint glow of a street lamp there are about ten men waiting around the entrance. There are two gardai standing in front of the door – which means the hostel is full. The men are waiting in case a free space becomes available.

Outside the homeless hostel in Dublin - People wait in the snow to get in but it is already full.

Next, we head to Store Street Garda station. Inside we find a man asleep on the floor beside the reception desk. Many of the homeless do this when they can’t find anywhere else. “Most of the homeless will be going and handing themselves in tonight,” adds Martin as we leave Store Street. “They might steal something just to be arrested. Or go in and confess some petty crime they have done ages ago. Prison is better then the streets on a night like this.”

A homeless person gets some sleep on the floor of Store Street Garda station.

The Ha’penny bridge, where homeless people usually sit begging is now completely empty. The air over the Liffey is damp and extremely cold, so you can see why. Temple bar is also empty, save a slow circling Garda car and empty cups and boxes.

Empty boxes mean homeless people will return here.

We head up to Grafton Street where we find another lone man, *Mark, huddled beside a banklink. He is smoking a cigarette and shivering. He has much the same story as Paddy. He’s in his early 30s and he’s on drugs. He claims he only needs a few Euro more for a hostel. We give him five Euro. But after we leave Martin tells me he will most likely spend it on gear. Nevertheless, the temperature is dropping even more and suddenly it begins to snow again.
Mark and Paddy are just the tip of the iceberg. Although no exact figures are available, it is estimated that there are over 6,000 people in Ireland living on the streets. And the number is rising. As a result of the recession, three hundred and thirty one households had their homes repossessed as of the end of September. This translates to a harsh winter for many Irish people.

Mark* talks to Martin Murphy

In reaction to the big freeze, Focus Ireland have extended the opening hours of its Dublin day services, the “Coffee Shop” and Extension Service from the 7^th January to ensure people who are homeless have somewhere warm to go at all times during the day.

The decision came after the announcement that the freezing weather period would remain into next week. Orla Barry, Director of Services in Focus Ireland said: “It is vital that people who are out on the streets have somewhere to go to escape the freezing conditions.”

“No one should be subjected to the outside conditions for long periods so our plan is to limit the time people currently living on the streets are exposed to this weather and as a result limit the threats that come with it.
“The problem of homelessness is not just about people on the streets, it is also about inadequate accommodation. We are also checking with all our customers who might be living in adequate accommodation to ensure that they have sufficient heating and warm blankets, and trying to respond to these needs.”

Ms. Barry added, “I’d like to say that it is with thanks to the people who have given so generously, despite the recession, over the Christmas period and in 2009 that we can provide this extra support.”

Phobias

As Cathy Breslin, hypnotist will tell you, most of us have phobias. There are ones we admit to and ones we don’t. Most of us will go through our life avoiding our phobias, even when they affect our life. For some of us we have phobias that appear ridiculous to everyone else – like encountering a snake on the way to work or meeting a llama down an alleyway (I had a flatmate who was mortally afraid of courgettes, so much so that we were under strict instructions not to have any in the fridge.) Either way, it is no joke to the sufferer. 

A shark may not end up in your bath like a spider, but it can still affect your life.

I know how the life of a spider phobic person goes. You’re confidently going about your business like say driving, eating, brushing your teeth, or trying to sleep. And then bam, your internal world is sent into mortal chaos when you notice a spider the size of a small child nearby. So you do what any normal person would do. You jump, bang your knee on the basin, crash the car, jump on the chair or flee your bedroom. You’re not prepared for it, and the shock was almost the worst part. Panicking, you work up the courage to do something, anything, to prove you’re not a baby. So you venture back into the room to survey the situation rationally. No, you won’t be getting a glass for this one. 

He’s watching you from the corner waiting for you to go back into bed and go asleep so he can crawl on your face (his main goal in life). He is motionless but you don’t trust him. He got there didn’t he? He might crawl on you in the night, or bite you, or worse, lay eggs in your brain. Fighting tears you go and get a newspaper, or a cup, or the Hoover. Staring at it, and wishing it would just go away you spend several minutes, or even several hours bringing yourself to go near it. No, you just can’t. If you have a designated spider catcher person handy you are lucky. If you are very unlucky the designated spider catcher ‘loses’ the spider while trying to trap it and throw it out the window. Any mention of ‘it’s gone’ is met with violent sighs. “It’s not gone. It’s lost. Now we don’t know where it is!” At this point the phobia sufferer will most likely, slouch exasperated from the room carrying a duvet and pillows, and spend the night on the couch.

Being one of these people myself, I went to see Cathy Breslin, who specialises in Hypnotherapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Thought Field Therapy (TFT), Archetypal programming training (APT) and coaching. I expect her to be a stern woman. I expect to have to lie on a couch. But instead she meets me with a warm smile and I am brought into her lovely calm, cool room where I sit perfectly upright on one of her chairs. She asks me to start the session. I am confused. “Well, I don’t know,” I say, after a pause. “I’m afraid of spiders,” I tell her. It feels like confessing to alcoholism. She nods. “What don’t you like about them?” she asks. “I don’t like anything about them,” I reply. “So imagine there is a spider over there,” she says. I look around the room suspiciously. Oh no, I did not sign up for a surprise spider visit. “How would you feel?” she asked “Could you touch it?” I shake my head vigorously. “Not for a thousand Euros,” I affirm. 

After talking to Cathy for a bit longer, it emerges that my worst fear is being locked in somewhere with a spider, which nicely combines my fear of enclosed spaces, and my fear of spiders together. Cathy makes me go back and find out where this fear came from. I remember being locked in a box as a child with three other children, an older boy sitting on the lid as we pleaded to be let out. One boy even wet himself at the time out of fear. An altogether enjoyable experience for all involved. “This is good,” says Cathy, reminding me that figuring out the cause of my phobia is important. She draws me a diagram of how she will change my reactions. Instead of seeing the thing I am scared of and reacting one way, I will train my brain to react another way to the stimulus. She explains, or rather makes me discover myself, that my phobia, like almost all phobias, stems from a fear of losing control.

After the counselling, it is time for the hypnosis. I had always wondered what it would be like to be hypnotised, and I was not disappointed. It is slightly scary, as it feels like going under anaesthetic, just slower. There was a moment where I panicked and opened my eyes but Cathy is very good at reassuring you. When you finally go under it is a deeply relaxing experience, almost like being conscious but asleep at the same time. Cathy talks to my subconscious, telling parts of my body to relax one by one. I can feel my body doing what she is asking without having to tell my body to do it myself. Then she brings you back, talks to you some more and then puts you under again. That was when she talked to me about spiders. I leave feeling thoroughly relaxed and with a totally different state of mind. She persuaded me to worry less, and my stress levels felt ten times lower already. She gives me a CD and tells me to practice self-hypnosis at home. I go home in a dream-like state. When I get home, I go looking for a spider out the back garden to see if I am still afraid. I find a middle-sized one eventually and put my finger right up to it, about a centimetre away. I don’t touch it as I don’t want it to move suddenly. I am not cured but definitely have come a long way. It is recommended to do more then one session with Cathy. Now, when I see a spider I still jump a little, but I don’t run away. Best of all, I reckon my midnight sleepovers on the sofa are a thing of the past.     

http://cathybreslin.com/

• What causes my phobia?
• Main causes of phobias inlude past traumas and generally develop in late adolescence or early adulthood. Phobias tend to affect more women than men. Phobias are treatable and it is never too late to reclaim a panic-free life.
• What will I experience?
• People with phobias experience many anxiety-related symptoms when they’re exposed to the object or situation they fear. The symptoms are both emotional and physical. The symptoms of anxiety and fear can range from mild feelings of apprehension to a full-blown panic attack.
• What type of phobia do I have?
• There are four general types of common phobias and fears:

 

• Animal phobias – fears caused by an animal or insect. Examples include fear of snakes, fear of spiders, rodents, cats and dogs.
• Natural environment phobias – fears cued by objects found in nature such as fear of heights, storms, water and the dark.
• Situational phobias – fears triggered by a specific situation. Examples include fear of enclosed spaces (claustrophobia), fear of elevators, fear of flying, fear of dentists, fear of driving and fear of bridges.
• Medical phobia – involves fear of blood, fear or injury, or a fear of medical procedures.
• How can I cure it?

Phobias can typically be cured by using Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), Hypnosis or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). 

Tips for coping with a phobia: 

• Take small steps towards overcoming phobias.  If you attempt to rush into it, you may feel over-whelmed and discouraged. Similarly, if you avoid taking any steps, you may never conquer your fear!
• Learn relaxation techniques to help you manage your anxiety and fear. This can be done by consulting a psychologist or by the use of a self help CD, especially designed for this purpose.
• Positive thinking. Keep optimistic when facing your fears by reminding yourself that you have the power of overcoming phobias and that there is no real danger.
• Take steps to empower yourself in other areas of your life. Take up a hobby or sport, join a club or take a self-help course.
• Read as much as you can about your condition. There are many self help books with valuable tips, facts about phobias, and advice on overcoming phobias.

Top Ten Phobias: 

1. Arachnophobia: Fear of spiders.

2. Ophidiophobia: Fear of snakes.

3. Acrophobia: Fear of heights.

4. Agoraphobia: Fear of situations in which escape is difficult.

5. Cynophobia: Fear of dogs.

6. Astraphobia: Fear of thunder and lightening. .

7. Trypanophobia: Fear of injections.

8. Social Phobias: Fear of social situations.

9. Pteromerhanophobia: Fear of flying. .

1. Mysophobia: Fear of germs or dirt.

What is NLP, CBT and Hypnotherapy?

• Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a system of alternative therapy which seeks to educate people in self-awareness and communication, and to change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour. It helps to change the connection between brain processes, language and behaviour that have been learned through experience (‘programming’).
• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) involves gradual exposure to the feared object or situation at a gentle and understanding pace. If you are afraid of dogs, this therapy will encourage you to speak about dogs, look at pictures of them, be in the same room as one and eventually touch one.
• Cathy says: “During the hypnotherapy session you actually become more aware of your surroundings especially smells, sensations and sounds around you. On the odd occasion people might fall asleep and wake up on their own or not. There is no such thing that you will get stuck in a trance and never come out of it or that the hypnothereapist has full control over you.”
• “Treatment varies considerably from client to client, and depends to a great extent upon what sort of treatments the client responds to best. In other words, whilst there are a large number of techniques, there isn’t an off-the-shelf trick that works in the same way for everyone. The practitioner will establish, quite quickly, the best sorts of methods for you during the initial stages of your session. For further information regarding treatment contact Cathy Breslin on Ph. +353 45 876755, Mobile. +353 86 859 5917 or email at info@cathybreslin.com or visit www.cathybreslin.com

The Seven Day Recession Busting Diet

These days just eating healthy can be a strain on the wallet. With fattening foods retailing so cheaply, it can be hard to persuade yourself to pick that organic salmon over the can of macaroni and cheese. But as the saying goes – you can’t put a price on health. So what if there was a way you could eat healthy and save money at the same time? We investigate the seven day diet tips that allow you to do just that.

The Shopping 

Planning ahead is the key to saving money and eating healthy – so the plan starts from when you do your weekly shop. Make a list of everything you will need for each recipe during the week so you don’t overspend. Things like vegetables, fruit, porridge oats and meat might seem expensive when you buy in bulk but it ends up being cheaper overall as the ingredients stretch further. Then make a big vat of homemade vegetable soup on the Sunday to heat up for lunches during the week.

Day One

Breakfast

Time to spare: 1 bowl of porridge oats cooked in water with small amount of milk. 1 tsp of honey. 1 piece of fresh fruit.

On the go: Two Ryvita crackers with a light scraping of butter and a multigrain bar

Lunch

Time to spare: Four Ryvita crackers with tuna, mayonnaise and sweetcorn on top. Some homemade vegetable soup heated up.   

On the go: A healthy chicken and vegetable wrap from a supermarket or a cheese sandwich on wholemeal bread brought with you – this will cut the cost of eating lunch out considerably.  

Dinner

Homemade Casserole – made using chicken, lamb or beef and lots of vegetables. Make enough for two nights.

Snacks

Probiotic or Natural yogurt flavoured with honey

Casserole - Healthy Alternative

Day Two

Breakfast

Time to spare: 1 bowl of bran flakes with milk, 1 tsp of sugar

On the go: Two Ryvita crackers with a light scraping of butter and a banana.

Lunch

Time to spare: 1 small tin of baked beans served on two slices of multigrain bread.

On the go: A wholemeal chicken and mayonnaise sandwich brought with you.

Dinner

Rest of homemade casserole from previous day.

Snacks

10 grapes or 1 apple

Day Three

Breakfast

Time to spare: 1 boiled egg and two Ryvita with a scrape of butter.

On the Go: 1 apple and one banana

Lunch

Time to spare: Your homemade soup heated up with four Ryvita, one chopped tomato and a few slices of cucumber.

Dinner

1 Lean chicken breast with vegetables and new potatoes. Small amount of low fat gravy.

Snacks

½ grapefruit

Day Four

Breakfast

Time to spare: 1 bowl of porridge oats cooked in water with small amount of milk. 1 tsp of honey. 1 piece of fresh fruit.

On the go: One multigrain bar and a yogurt

Lunch

Time to Spare: A wholemeal pasta salad – with wholemeal pasta, salad leaves, chopped tomato, olives, mozzarella balls and pesto.

On the go: Bring a homemade chicken and salad sandwich on wholemeal bread from home.

Dinner

Grilled salmon with Thai sweet chilli dressing, new potatoes and unlimited veg.

Snacks

1 Kiwi or 4oz of cherries

Day Five

Breakfast

Time to spare: Poached egg on two slices of wholemeal bread.

On the go: One multigrain bar and a banana or apple. 

Lunch

Time to spare: Your homemade soup with four ryvita with tuna and mayonnaise.

On the go: A wholemeal bagel with low fat cream cheese.

Snacks: 4oz of strawberries or a natural yogurt with honey

Day Six – Weekend

Breakfast

1 boiled egg, 1 slice of multigrain bread, ½ grapefruit sprinkled with sugar

Lunch

1 small multigrain roll spread with mustard and filled with 50g of wafer thin ham and salad leaves. 1 low fat yogurt.

Dinner

1 x 200g baked potato, served with a small tin of tuna, a small tin of sweetcorn and 2 tsp of light mayonnaise. A mixed salad.

Snacks: A nectarine

Day Seven – Weekend

Breakfast

7oz of fresh fruit salad (use leftover fruit from week) serve with low fat yogurt sprinkles with 1 tsp of porridge oats and 1 tsp of sugar 

Lunch

Sheppard’s pie – this can be made very cheaply using mince, potatoes and lots of veg.

Snack

1 low fat yogurt

Recipe – Beef Casserole

Ingredients (Serves 4)

• olive oil
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 carrot, diced
• 1 leek, diced
• 2 celery sticks diced
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed
• 75g mushrooms, sliced
• 500g braising steaks, cubed
• 2 tbsp plain flour
• 3 sprigs of thyme
• Beef stock, fresh, cube or concentrate made up to 750ml
• 2 tbsp tomato puree
• A dash of Worcestershire sauce

 

1. Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in a large pan then add the onion, carrot, leek, celery and garlic, and cook gently for 5 minutes. Do not brown. Add the mushrooms and cook everything for a further 5 minutes then remove from the pan. Heat a little more olive oil in the pan, add the beef (in batches if necessary) and brown all over then stir the flour in well.
2. Return the veg to the pan and add the thyme, stock, purée and Worcestershire sauce. Season and mix well. Bring to a gentle simmer and cook covered for 1 1/2 hours until tender, stirring occasionally. Serve with jacket potatoes, rice, pasta or mash.

Per serving: 290 calories

Superfoods Diet

It’s that time of year again. Half the world is laid up sick in bed while you are creeping around like a bacteria-phobic Pink Panther spraying door handles with disinfectant and breathing through your jumper. So what else can you do to ensure your immune system stays fighting fit? We introduce the Superfoods that have the superpowers to fight off flu. (Note: this probably won’t help with swine flu!)

 

The Superfoods

What is a Superfood? – No it’s not a food that can save people from burning buildings or harness the power of invisibility. Generally, fruits and vegetables given a ‘Superfood’ tag are foods which contain a generous amount of antioxidants which are essential for fighting illness.

 Why do we need them in our diet? – To fight off flu and sickness. But the benefits are not only short term – antioxidants are especially effective at combating free radicals – harmful molecules that damage cells and DNA and can contribute to ageing, heart disease and cancer. But remember not to undervalue foods just because they aren’t a ‘Superfood’ we need all different types of nutrients to keep in top shape.

What are the Superfoods?

Papaya

As most people know Vitamin C is the best way to fight a cold. Just one papaya provides twice the required daily amount of vitamin C needed in your diet. It also has antioxidant carotenes in the orange flesh and the enzyme papain which is a natural pain-reliever.

How many should I eat per day: ½ of one papaya

Best eaten: After a meal containing fat or meat; or dinner.

Papaya

Eggs

The humble egg. One of the few dietary sources of vitamin D which the body needs to absorb calcium. With the rise in bone disease in women, (especially with skin cancer campaigns keeping more and more people out of the sun) eggs are essential to provide us with our Vitamin D. Eggs also contain selenium and vitamin E, two powerful antioxidants.

How many should I eat per day: One

Best eaten: Any time of day.

Prunes

The shrivelled fruit may not look pretty, but it has a great personality. Increasingly associated with the older generation and hospitals, prunes get a hard time. But they are actually one of the most powerful of the Superfoods. Top of the antioxidant list a 100g serving provides 20 per cent of your daily iron requirements, a third of your fibre needs, plus calcium and potassium. The antioxidants that reverse cell damage come from carotenes in the purple skins.

How many should I eat per day: Six

Best eaten: Anytime

Prunes

Walnuts

Akin to stones, they are hardly burger and chips material. But if you can be bothered to crack one open you’ll be fighting flu for Ireland. This is because walnuts contain copper, which increase your levels of interleukin, needed to help the body fight bacterial infections and viruses.

How many should I eat per day: Grab your nutcracker and eat six.

Best eaten: Anytime. As a between-meals snack they stave off hunger pangs better than carbohydrates.

Walnuts

Sweet Potatoes

These are a rich source of carotenes and phytochemicals, which build antioxidant defences. They’re also good for combating aches and pains because they neutralise body acids.

How much should I eat per day: 200g

Best eaten: With dinner so that the energy carries you through the night, ensuring sound sleep

Yogurt

It’s good as a snack, as part of a lunch and even a dessert. The yogurt is not only handy but it is one of the few dairy products known as a ‘complete food’. Its main nutrients are calcium and phosphorous, a vital mineral for growth and repair, which of course makes it excellent for fighting flu symptoms.

How much should I eat per day: One to two portions

Best eaten: One yogurt with each meal to aid digestion. Either plain yogurt sweetened with Manuka honey or the probiotic variety is best.

Natural Yogurt

Avocados

This versatile fruit contains a whole host of Superfood components, including vitamin E, magnesium, carotenes (especially lutein which is important for your eyes), niacin, vitamin C and biotin, which helps to ease muscle aches and pains.

How many should I eat per day: ½ avocado three times a week is recommended.

Best eaten: On its own or filled with shellfish or walnuts.

Watercress

This leafy fella might not look important but the naturally antibiotic, watercress is high in beta carotene, vitamin C and iron, and helps maintain oxygen in the blood which can be compromised during a bout of flu. Plus you can even grow it yourself!

How much should I eat per day: A large bunch

Best eaten: A part of a salad or used as tea leaves (soak for 20 minutes in boiling water.)

Watercress

Red peppers

This Superfood can be used in so many dishes so is easy to incorporate into your ordinary routine. A quarter of a red pepper supplies one day’s vitamin C requirement. They’re also full of immune-boosting bioflavonoids.

How much should I eat per day: ¼ pepper

Best eaten: Raw, in salad or lightly cooked on pizzas, stuffed etc.

Three super-meals for each part of your day:

Breakfasts

Six prunes, 30g porridge with ½ banana cooked in it. Skimmed milk and 1tsp Manuka honey.

40g unsweetened muesli, skimmed milk, 1tbsp yogurt and 6 prunes.

Two boiled eggs, 6 prunes, one yogurt.

Lunches

Salad sandwich with beetroot, carrots and spinach on wholemeal or poppyseed bread. Dress with walnut oil and lemon.

Homemade vegetable or lentil soup, including turnips. Baguette.

½ avocado filled with prawns, tuna or crabmeat. Drizzle with walnut or avocado oil and lemon. Serve with spinach salad.

Dinners

Thin crust pizza topped with peppers, onions, mushrooms, chillies, prawns and tuna. Mixed salad with spinach and carrots.

Mixed mushroom risotto with watercress and rocket salad.

Baked stuffed red peppers with breadcrumbs, herbs, olive oil and lemon zest. Serve with creamed sweet potato.

How to Meet a Guy in 10 Days

They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince. So is it any wonder we women, confronted with drunken men every Saturday night, give up? Sinead Nolan finds out if it’s possible to meet a man worthy of dating in just 10 days…

The Original Article - Elaine, Louise and I on a night out.

Day One

 Women are officially afraid of dating websites. We don’t like to admit things have got that desperate. Always a sucker for a good ‘meeting story’ we would prefer to answer: “In a war zone” then “On a dating website” when our grandmother asks for the romantic story. So I signed up for one of these first. Writing about myself is the hard bit. Is social drinking a hobby? Am I slim, athletic or cuddly? In the end a few people email me generic things. I filter out the boring ones of which there are many eg. “Hi how was your weekend, I went to the gym,” and the oddballs, schizos and perverts eg. “Let’s see a photo of your chest,” and reply to one or two of the interesting people.

Day Two

I am going to Milan for two nights. We spot our first suit-clad victim on the Metro. He is tall, dark and handsome and looks like he just walked out of an Armani advert. My friend urges me to get his number but I literally can’t. He looks over at us a few times, probably because we are staring, whispering and laughing. That night we hit the town. An Italian bar man gives us free shots and chats to us for a while. Then some sleazy Americans invite us to a VIP club, but point to the Italians we are talking to and say they are not welcome “Only you girls,” says the man. This seems dodgy so we leave the lot of them and go drink in the square by ourselves.

Alice and I in the square in Milan

Day Three

 Day two in Milan is lovely. Gorgeous men wander about everywhere. If only all men looked like that, I could endure being single forever. We meet two guys and hang out with them for the day. They buy us lunch and we exchange phone numbers. Their names are Sam and Shariff and they are from Manchester. They are very chatty and talkative and I am feeling positive. But it turns out one is attached and the other fancies my friend.

Day Four

Back home with a bang. As soon as we get below the heavy black clouds the weight of the next six days challenge threatens to depress me. When I get home I have some emails on the dating website. I feel like a loser for being exited at this fact. The replies are getting longer and more detailed. Some of the men seem okay. I go and see a fortune teller with my friends tonight. I ask her about the man situation and she tells me I will meet him soon. She says his name will be ‘Noel’ and he will be just like me, but male. I am not really a big fan of this name, so I am hoping she is making it up.

 

Day Five

It’s Saturday and we decide to go to a common spot. It is a birthday and there are plenty of guys there. All of whom are attached. My friend and I wander the beer garden as this is usually the best place to go to get into a conversation. I look around one minute and my friend is there – the next minute I turn around and she is playing tonsil hockey with some guy I’ve never seen before in my life. After about an hour I meet a guy. I ask him if he is single. “Kind of,” is his complex reply. It turns out he broke up with his girlfriend last week, but she texted him tonight. We chat for the night and he takes my number. He never calls.

Day Six

I fear my final hope is the dating website. I get my friend over and a glass of wine and we go through them. She is a good filter for me when I threaten to go for someone not really up to scratch. “Do you need glasses?” she shouts. “Next!” I am glad I have her with me. “But he seems nice,” I say weakly. “Next!” she repeats. We shortlist a few. Now I must brazenly suggest a date.

Day Seven

Success! I have managed to schedule two dates, one for tomorrow and one for the following day. I am quite exited about them. Both of the men seem very normal and friendly. Ironically, in the paper today there is a story about a woman who was murdered after a blind date. I won’t be taking any chances leaving my drink around then.

Day Eight

I am meeting the man in a city bar like some sort of a Sex in the City character. I go straight from work. Having an hour to spare I decide to get something new to wear. “80’s slutty or hippie boho?” I text my friend from a changing rooms. “80’s slutty” she writes back. I sit at the bar in trepidation. He walks in. He is shorter then average, skinny, with glasses and a receding hairline. I think, because of this, that he will be funny and friendly but I am wrong.

My attempt to make jokes falls flat every time. Every so often there is a long, awkward, horrible silence which makes me want to flee from the bar. I tell him when I talk to single women the most common reply for their pet hate in a man is being stingy. He asks for some examples. I give him a few good ones, like splitting the bill on a first date or buying beer instead of wine because it’s on offer even though the girl wanted wine. He looks at me blanky. “I don’t see anything wrong with that.” I go and buy myself a second drink, as I now need it, and he did not offer to buy me the first or the second. I realise that he might be the worst type of stingy man – the stingy man who thinks it’s okay to be stingy. We move onto a second bar, and sit at a small table. Bored, when he is at the bar (buying himself another drink) I set fire to the candle with a beermat and cause a large fire on the table. I put it out with his Guinness. The smoke looks enough to set off the fire alarm. He returns and makes no reaction, simply continuing the debate I have started about politics.

I get a text off my friend. “Sineeeead, the washing machine has blown up, there’s water everywhere, come home and help me fix it!” This was meant to be my get out text but instead it just makes me laugh and ruins the lie.

After another half and hour, desperate and on the edge, I meet some girls in the toilet. “Can you pretend to be my friends?” I ask them. We fabricate a story of how we know one another. Five minutes later they approach the table and squeal my name. “Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in YEARS! How are you?” “Oh my God, Melissa, Natasha!” I cry in the worst case of acting I have ever heard. He looks from the girls to me in disbelief. “Do you mind if we join them?” I ask him. “Sure,” he says. We join the girls for a drink. Every so often the girls and I nearly forget we are meant to know one another. “You do journalism? Oh my god, so do I!” squeals Natasha. “How did you say you know one another again?” he asks. After another hour, he gets the hint and leaves.

 

Day Nine

The next day I get a text from the date. “Hope you got home alright after I left. I didn’t think there was much of a spark. Sorry.” I am relieved. The dating world is cut-throat.

Day Ten

Tonight is my final date – a 33 year old toxicologist. He is a bit older, so I speak to this one before the date. He actually has a sense of humour and banter. I tell him about the horrific date and he assures me that I can leave whenever I want and he will not be offended. He also mentions: “My friend is dating a woman he met on a dating website and they’re pretty serious.” But, alas, he doesn’t know how many dates they went on before they met one another. This guy is number two, and I may need to have 56. For a little twist I decide to meet him in the same bar as the last guy. If nothing else, it will make the barman curious. He is just like his photo and the date goes fabulous. Will I date him again? Definitely. Can you meet a guy in 10 days? Yes. The lesson I learned is not to be afraid. Put yourself out there and try something new, you never know, you might meet the love of your life!

Potato Diet

An apple a day is said to keep the doctor away, so what about a potato? Anything to keep a doctor away in a recession has to be a good thing, right? They are high in proteins, vitamins A and B, potash, soda, and alkaline salts, and our ancestors lived on them for years. But do they give you enough vitamins by themself? Well in a word – yes. If they are cooked right.

As a woman growing up it was all about ‘cutting the carbs’ but contrary to popular belief the potato diet has been linked to celebrities such as Julia Roberts, staying healthy and losing weight at the same time. The potato diet sounded like the most exiting alternative to salad I’d ever heard. So just how easy is it to survive on a diet of potatoes and milk?

Day One

‘A potato diet’ I boasted to my friends and family. ‘Yeah thats what I thought, easy-peasy…Yeah all the potatoes I want… I know, it does sound fattening doesn’t it…’ At eleven stone and 24 years old, I had never been this old or fat in my life. And according to the Body Mass Index, at 5 foot 8, I am right on that line – the scary one in between light yellow ‘ok’ and dark yellow ‘overweight’. Drastic action needed to be taken so that I could fit snugly into my jeans again. The pototo diet, I thought, would get me started.

 

My mother decided to do the diet with me ‘for moral support’. Which just shows that losing pounds to any woman is like a carrot to a donkey.

The first day was brilliant. In the potato diet you have a lot of liberty with how many potatoes you are allowed to eat. For breakfast I had two potato waffles with salt and a glass of milk. I laughed to myself, smugly. Ha! This is no diet! I feel great!

By lunch time. I was ready for my fix again. One waffle, lots of mashed potato with a small bit of butter and salt to taste and another glass of milk. You are under strict instructions not to cook them in an aluminum pot – that is the only rule, as this can deplete the nutrients. I was so full I had to leave some of the mash for later. At 4pm I had a bit more mash and some water. I started to feel a bit suspicious about all this eating.

That’s when I got my first craving. I found because you can eat nothing else you start to crave everything.

If it used to be alive – I wanted it.

For dinner I had five small hash browns (about the size of a chicken nuggets) and three potato cakes done in the oven (mixed with herbs and a bit of salt and butter) and one glass of milk. They did not dull the cravings at all.
I saw my mum making her mash. She was cheating by mixing in shredded roast beef left over from Sunday dinner. Whatever helps her sleep at night, I thought. I felt very fat and bloated not at all as good as I would have on my normal diet.

Day Two

I woke up feeling groggy, lethargic and terrible. I could not get out of bed and my mouth tasted like a dead badger. I decided to have no breakfast but bring my hash browns in to the office with me in a tupperware. On the way I passed a shop. I could see the nutrigrain bars eyeing me from the stand, staring at me, willing me to buy one. Instead I resisted.

At the office every so often I ate a hash brown, which kept me going. At lunch however I was starving. This is when it got weird. I went out for lunch but felt extremely light headed and ill. I spent about half an hour looking for somewhere to buy a baked potato. How hard is it to have a baked potato in Dublin city? I thought, only half alert. I felt like I was in a weird dream and my brain was working very slowly. It is very difficult to find a baked potato near O’ Connell street apparently. You’ll see every foreign cuisine in the land. You can get Mexican, Chinese, Polish, Indian and Italian – but potatoes? Not a sight of them. Eventually I found a small cafe which served them. I cheated a little and had cheese on it, but it barely managed to cheer me up. I was offically SICK of potatoes now and had only been a day and a half. I thought I may have some vodka if this continued. As Vodka is made of potatoes.

Day Three

Potato, Potato. If you say it in a new york accent you can hear the difference – but I can no longer taste the difference. Potatoes any way you like them – boiled, mashed, in their skins, roasted, naked or doing the hokey-cokey – they might be filling, but they can be incredibly dull. You have to stay away from fried too. The morning is always fine. Waffles for breakfast are yummy. It’s lunch time that really gets me. I need fish. I just want sushi back on the menu. I would swap my liver for a piece of chocolate or even some fruit, or even, incidentally, some liver. I give in later on and have half a grapefruit. The sweet, sweet taste is better then chocolate. I have two baked potatoes for dinner with butter cheese and salt. I feel satiated and quite good now, perhaps my body is getting used to the famine situation.

Day Four

I wake up feeling very good today and notice my belly has gone down. I weigh myself and have only lost a pound but I feel very slim and get a few comments today about looking slimmer. I am still glad it is the last day of the diet however, and think healthy eating is a lot easier with variety. I realise how I took things in my life for granted like lovely fish, which I will now go back to eating almost every day, and vegetables. I think I will keep to eating potato waffles for breakfast but keep to a low protein diet in the evening such as fish and chicken with veg and a small bit of mash. As they say, everything in moderation. Now where’s my peeler?

Goodbye Oprah

If nothing else, you have to agree that Oprah Winfrey is a woman of conviction. So after almost 25 years, the cries of housewives and unemployed all over the world will be deafening, as Oprah announces she is putting the famous sofa to rest and taking a bow.

Born in Mississippi in 1954, Oprah was the wrong colour for her place and time. But despite being dirt poor and having being sexually abused by an older cousin at the age of nine she defied the odds by graduating with honours and at the age of 19 becoming Nashvilles first female African American broadcaster.

Now arguably one of the most powerful entertainers on the planet and tipped as one of the most powerful women in America, Oprah has been gracing our screens for almost a quarter of a century on The Oprah Winfrey Show.

The O-factor, as it is commonly known, has changed lives, sold millions of books, and exercised a pull on the hearts, minds and wallets of middle-America. As a result Forbes estimate her fortune to be at 2.3 billon dollars (2009).

The talk show host is adulated for a number of reasons but mainly because of the host’s ability to identify with all aspects of life following her own problems and success. She dealt with problems such as addiction, racism, giving birth and losing her baby at the age of 14. She has also, of course, been notorious for her struggle with her weight, which millions of women can identify with.

It’s a credit to her that after almost a quarter of a century, Ms Winfrey, 55, still commands the heights of daytime chat. Through her syndication deals her programme reaches some 7 million homes daily in the US.

Not only that, but Winfrey can add acting to her resume too, having scooped an Oscar nomination for her performance in The Colour Purple in 1985.

There are also rumours she will be starting her another show on her coming cable channel, OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network, after her current show finishes.

So what will we remember The Oprah Winfrey Show for most? Will it be how Hollywood titans and ordinary Joe soaps alike opened up on the show – revealing things they would usually never say on air? Will it be Oprah’s sense of modesty? Her donations to the poor, helping of hurricane Katrina victims and helping the FBI track down child molesters? Or is it the wacky moments that will have us remembering the show long after it is finished? Here are some of the moments that made the Oprah Winfrey show what it is today.

1. The Tom Cruise Incident.

Comedians couldn’t believe their luck the day Tom Cruise jumped around Oprah’s set, hopped onto a couch and professed his love for his new girlfriend Katie Holmes. In fact it should go down in history as the funniest day in showbiz history. Or at least the only day Tom Cruise had been taller then a woman. Winfrey said of the Irish jig on top of her furniture: “I kept saying to him ‘you’re gone, you’re really gone.’”

His reputation of being a scientologist and control freak, was not helped by this, making in the number one Hollywood eccentric. We never would have got to see this wonderful event had it not been for Oprah.

 

2. Bucket of Lard

If Oprah’s famed talk show antics came first – her dieting came second. Although her yo-yo dieting has continued for decades, her most famous weight loss was in 1988 when she famously lost 67 pounds on a liquid protein diet. Oprah appeared on her talk show dressed in size 10 Calvin Klein blue jeans wheeling a wagon loaded with fat representing the weight that she had lost. She then quickly regained the weight. Fat or skinny, however, everyone still loved and admired Oprah.

3. Oprah Interviews Jacko

Ms Winfrey hosted an exclusive prime-time interview with Michael Jackson in 1993 which became the fourth most watched event in American television history as well as the most watched interview ever, with an audience of one hundred million. Perhaps it was Oprah’s kind demenour that allowed Michael to feel he could talk to her. In the hour long unedited interview, Michael Jackson let the world look inside his home at the Neverland Ranch. Oprah delivered a more normal side to the Jackson who, at the time, was being intensely scrutinised. She also put to rest some rumours:

Oprah: Did you buy the Elephant man’s bones?

Michael: No. I love the story of the Elephant man, he reminds me of me a lot, and I could relate to it, it made me cry because I saw myself in the story, but no I never asked for the…where am I going to put some bones?…

Michael: ….and why would I want some bones?

Oprah: I don’t know. So where did that story come from?

Michael: Someone makes it up, and everybody believes it. If you hear a lie often enough, you start to believe it.

4. Oprah locked out

It might technically have not been on her show, but it showed Oprah should not be messed with. Oprah turned up outside Hermes luxury boutique store in France, just after their closing time of 6.30pm and was not let in. The street is well travelled by tourists because of its abundance of famous designer boutiques. In the first version of the incident, Hermes staff members stationed at the door failed to recognize Winfrey, as she was not in full glamour makeup with her TV hair. They denied her entry and a gossip item claimed, told her that they had been “having a problem with North Africans lately.” In the other version of events they were busy organising event and were unable to let Winfrey in. Nevertheless, it was unusual that someone who could buy everything in the store would be refused. Then despite rumours of a conciliatory crocodile skin ‘I’m sorry’ bag – Oprah swore off the shop announcing publicly that she would never go there again, and that she would be addressing the matter on her show that Autumn. Take that Hermes.

5. The Jeep giveaway

Oh we were jealous, very jealous indeed, when we found out Oprah had given a free Pontiac G6 Jeep to ‘everyone in the audience.’ This was in 2004 when our height of sophistication in Ireland was a free hamper on The Late Late Show. The company covered the seven million costs in promotional payback. On the night, pandemonium allegedly took over the studio in Chicago. Cries of “Oprah, you’re beautiful!” and “We’re blessed” ricocheted against the rafters and later Winfrey described it as one of the greatest days of her TV life. Well, if hundreds of people were screaming that you were beautiful, wouldn’t it be your favourite day too?

Sobering thoughts…

Like alot of people, I love spontaneous, giggly, ridiculous nights out with plenty of love and laughter and long deep conversations and debates.So when I decided to be sober for a few months. I was worried. Would I lose the fun in my life? Would I become a complete bore?

The first night out was a surprise. Me and my other non-drinking friend decided to attend out other friends sisters 21st. First test. We entered the club with trepidation and said hello to everyone. After that we stood like awkward statues getting in the way of proper party-goers, the drinking type, and not knowing who to talk to. Usually I would go to get a drink, but this didnt seem as urgent now I knew I wasn’t getting alcohol. “A diet coke,” I heard myself saying. I know, I know I thought. It even sounded lame.

My friends boyfriend commented that I looked scared when he greeted me. I was.  Our friend, whose sisters 21st it was, seemed kind of bummed when she found out neither of us were drinking, though she didn’t rub it in. And was it me, or did I suddenly feel like a killjoy? I wasn’t used to this. It was used to being 3am Sambucca Sinead perhaps, but not Boring Betty – never Boring Betty. It was a strange feeling. I had to tell her something to explain so I said with an apologetic smile that I was on antibiotics. This was half true. I had finished them that morning. The music was pumping and people all looked so happy.

Then came a series of the worst tests ever. First my friends sister whose 21st it was approached me with a crouching tiger, hidden naggin. She invited us to the loos to have some of her stashed vodka. Now this was tough. Stashed vodka is my forte. I used to do it all the time, so this was like dangling chocolate in front of a child and telling them not to eat it. I wanted with all my heart to follow her and get her to pour the fine glory into my glass. But instead I stood firm looking wishfully at them as they retreated to the loo. Next, my friend told me she was getting 8 jagerbombs. I was soooo jealous.
I am also off all sugar, and that was the next test. My friends mother walked up to me with a tray of chocolate cake. “You want a piece of cake?” she asked. “No thanks, I won’t” I replied salivating. “Ah go on,” she said. I shook my head, feeling mean. A game of ‘ah go on’- ‘no I’m okay’ ensued until her mother admitted defeat and went onto someone less stubborn then me. I really wanted a piece of cake by now, and a drink. I had another diet coke. We stood in a small sad sober group, me and my two sober friends. “I feel socially inept,” I mentioned to my friend I had come with. She laughed. Seriously, I thought to myself. I hadn’t felt this unsocialable and awkward since I was 15. We decided to go and dance to the cheesy 90s music that was now on. After an awkward five minutes I realised something amazing. We were actually starting to have fun! So I threw myself into dancing. After about ten or fifteen minutes I found myself laughing so much I nearly spat out my coke. After half an hour I was still having fun, and not only that, but I knew I would remember how much fun I had. After an hour I was exhausted. We sat down for a bit. My friend who’s sister was having the party kindly asked us to go over and sit with her friends, acqaintances and family.  When we approached the table we got an immediate inquisition. “Why aren’t you drinking??” we were asked. Our friend looked apologetically at us. I told them about the antibiotics. I stuck to this story because telling a drunk person you are detoxing is like pissing into the wind, or asking to be ridiculed (even though I have been drinking for about ten years, and I think am entitled to a two or three month break by now.) My other sober friend wasn’t so lucky. She suffers, like me, physically from alcohol. For me it’s my digestion, for her it’s bad eczema and her skin comes out in a  rash. Not much fun at all in the cold light of day. She told them the detox excuse and got asked again why she wasn’t drinking. Eventually she had to tell them about her skin. From the high of our dancing, I could see her getting annoyed at this. If we wanted to not drink, why was it so socially unacceptable? Why were people making us feel so boring and unwanted, or as though we are somehow out to ruin their night by not indulging? Couldn’t we be there and not drink and not get looked at like that? It would appear not. Our friend came over and hugged us both. I could tell she felt bad that we were being harrassed. I totally would have loved to be on her level then. Even to have one or two would have been nice. We went back up and danced some more. Then we left at about 1am, which was early but we were happy, just tired without the false energy of alcohol. I was singing and acting drunk as we walked to the car, even though I had only had 3 diet cokes. I felt delerious from the dancing and hyper from the caffeine. Apart from the mystery of not knowing how I would get home and what would happen at the end of the night, it was the same as any night out. It was safer, I spent hardly any money and I most importantly I had fun. Even better, I woke up feeling fine the next day. I still know in two months or so after I have finished my required detox I will love going back to drink. I enjoy it, life is short and I live by my own rules. My rules say I can drink. But I know I will also appreciate the little things more by then. Like how waking up in the morning feeling good is worth it, like how that chat or that dance I remember was great, or knowing how I got home and that I didn’t offend anyone or act silly. Piece of mind. Knowing I won’t see horrendous photos tagged of me on facebook that I don’t remember being taken. All of those things make the occasional sober night out completely worth it.