For all my blabber about men, changeling behaviour, holiday romances, and indulging your inner geek, it’s good to sometimes recognise that we women, in a hilarious way, can often be the reason for our own single-ness. Let’s face it, we sometimes make it pretty impossible to be approached. I will give you an example of such a disasterous night.
The other day a fellow single friend and I decided to go clubbing in club knackery-do, or club 92 for anyone who doesn’t live in Dublin. We got ready, had a glass of wine in my house. We were not having a good night so far. The doorbell had just rang – it was a neighbour to tell my friend that her wing mirror had just been kicked off by a gang of like 15 ‘youths’ (you have to say that in a country Irish accent for it to have the full effect like you have a bad taste in your mouth – ‘yuuuuths’) The annoying part was she had only been parked outside my house for like, half an hour. We went out to inspect the damage. The thing was hanging off, my mums car had been got too. ‘I tried to catch them’ said my neighbour ‘But they were too fast..’ he got into his Celica, probably happy it wasnt him today, they’d got him last week. Pissed off to say the least, we decided to go out clubbing.
In the taxi we scared the driver by talking alot of philosophical shit, and he seemed relieved to let us out. On the way in we spent alot of time deliberating whether 12 euro was too expensive, while we got funny looks off the bouncers ‘Ah sure we’re here now’ my friend reasoned, as I grudgingly took two free sweets from the desk, well, I mean if you’re paying 12 euro.. When inside we sat in a booth and talked to one another. We weren’t giving off the most friendly vibes to any potential men. Body language leaning toward one another, daggers at anyone who approched. Moments later while at the bar doing shots of tequila some guy stole my drink. I approached him, and told him I saw him steal my drink ‘Don’t think I didn’t see you’ I said. He pretended not to know what I was talking about, taking another gulp of my vodka and coke (cos a guy would really buy that drink for himself..) ‘I dunno what you’re on about’ he says acting innocent. ‘Im walking away’ I said ‘Keep it I don’t want your germs anyway’ I said, almost adding – Face, bovvered? Seeing as the night was going so well, we decided to go onto the dance floor. My friend told me she would love it if Dizzee Rascal came on. I agreed but needed the loo so ran off. In the loo I heard Dizzee come on so I pegged it out to get back to my abandoned friend. I could see her dancing, but as I approached she looked confused and ran the other way up some steps and then down a step and then down, down.. on her bum. I started to piss myself laughing (afterwards I felt guilty when she told me she was in alot of pain and I had been laughing). I went around and helped her up ‘My ring flew off’ she said ‘I had to get it before that guy stood on it with his big boot’. She couldn’t stand on her leg. ‘Seriously?’ I said ‘Seriously’ she said ‘I can’t put weight on it’. As we were still mostly sober, I bought her another drink and we sat at a table. A guy approached us. ‘You don’t look very happy’ he says to my friend ‘I just fell on my arse and hurt my ankle’ she says sarcastically. ‘Your friend doesn’t look too happy’ the man whispers to me. ‘Yeah she’s hurt her ankle’ I say. ‘Your friend would be very good looking if she wasn’t so sad’ observes the man. Thrilled by the amazing conversation I cannot think up much to say but I try and make conversation with the poor guy. My friend is in her own world, not having touched her drink. ‘Yeah I think I have to go’ she says eventually. The man watches as we walk off. As I walk her to the door, tears stream down her face. I keep laughing with the irony of how crap our night was, though I don’t want her to think I am laughing at her. I can see how we might not have come across as fun single girls, but then perhaps it somes to a point where you just want to have fun with your friends. It is nights like that one, that make me appreciate my friends more then ever. How we’d had a crap night but also had brilliant conversation, and laughed alot too. We did not need a man to get us home (just a taxi and alot of hopping). My friend ended up on crutches, but to me it will always be a treasured night, because friends at the end of the day, are irreplaceable.
I just like to add here, that for my friend who is now on crutches, I’m very sorry her bad fortune for the car and the leg – get well soon! 🙂