He’s just not that into you..
So I was strolling around on one of my many wandering ‘s (I do like to wander, it makes me feel very free) when I came across Waterstones. I hadn’t been in there in a long time, so I went back to my favourite place, up on the top floor, turned left and in the middle shelf there are lots of my favourite books all in one section… I could spend hours sitting on the floor in this section reading the books on astrology, only I don’t sit on the floor because I’m not a child (though I did do it once on the sly.) I usually only last 20 mins or so standing, before I get tired and leave, minus any books as they are far too expensive to buy, and besides I couldn’t pick just one. Afterwards, I end up in the self-help aisle, mental case that I am, browsing through some very unsatisfying books (‘The secret’? give me a break.. how about the secret is, they’re making a load of dough from basic common sense in a book..) and then one catches my eye – ‘He’s just not that into you’. I take it off the shelf and begin to read. Ten minutes later I am still there. Despite the 7.99 price tag I decide I NEED this book. I am rubbish at boys and all things relationship when it comes down to it. At 23, and not a hint of a man, I’m beginning to to wonder whether I might end up an old maid.
I’ve spent much of this eveing reading my guilty pleasure of a new book, while I should have been studying. But I just cannot put it down. It is captivating and in some ways, I’m into the book, in the way the book tells me men should be into me. I just love the book! Everything it says is so true, and every woman should have a copy. We as women spend our entire lives trying to decipher the ‘mixed signals’ of men. When really, there are no mixed signals, men are very simple – we just make them complicated. The book states that all the excuses they make are just code for ‘I’m not that into you’. And the excuses we make for them are, I believe, maybe some sort of code for ‘I wish you were’. It’s amazing to learn that a man does really know how to use a phone and that if he doesn’t want to have sex with you it all means the same thing. Its like a universal answer for every single excuse and dilemma I’ve heard or had in my time. He’s just not that into you. So simple, so clean, so goddam easy. No games, just like.. he’s not that into you – dump him move on! I wish I had bought this book 5 years ago when I was 18 and a young naive little girl who basically knew nothing about dating. But then, maybe it wouldn’t have been so fun without all the self-delusion, and the hours of discussion with friends over ‘mixed signals’. In a way we bond with our friends in these discussions – its what makes us inherently female! But it also made me look back and realise that yes, the only good relationship that I have had so far was the one where my ex literally chased me for months until we finally went out. And he would run after me if we had a fight to stop me walking away. He would call me and text me, and was not backward about admitting he was in love with me. Only after 2 years was it time for us both to admit it wasn’t working anymore. But this is what the book tells you. If a man is into you you will know about it. He will find you, he will call you, he will want to be with you as much as he can. There won’t be any lame ass excuses. He won’t do any of that stuff, and you will never wonder whether he is into you, you will KNOW he is…
I’m happy I went wandering.. sometimes being a crazy gypsy type pays off in the long run..