The rules of dating are so hard to follow nowadays women can be seen checking themselves into the nearest mental asylum to avoid messing them up. What with all the number-related rules about what’s right and what’s wrong, it’s not surprising many of us wish things were still like our grandparents day (ie. marry the neighbour and be done with it.) So, to help you get dating-savvy, we de-bunk of the biggest myths of our time…
Myth One – The Three Day Rule
Myth: He will call or text you after three days of getting your number.
Problem: All girls know that feeling. It’s Tuesday afternoon and he still hasn’t called yet. You met him on Saturday night, so that’s… three days right? Or is it two? You don’t know anymore all you know is you’re confused. The man hasn’t called yet and despite that definite spark you’re starting to believe he won’t.
How to cope: The three day rule was designed for men to appear less needy. It’s true that he might try and play it cool but it’s also true that if he is thinking about you he won’t want you to forget him. If he hasn’t called by Wednesday – forget him and move on!
Myth Busted: If he likes you the three day rule won’t exist. He will call or text you the next day!
Myth Two – He Should Always Pay
The Myth: The man should always pay on the first date
The Problem: You agree with the rule that a man should pay on the first date – but when the bill arrives, he insists you go halves or worse, he makes you foot the entire bill.
How to cope: Women post-bra burning era take being treated equal for granted. Many modern women hate the idea of a man paying for meals or holding doors. This can be confusing for men who don’t know which route is the least offensive. When the bill comes, offer to go halves. That way you will look like you aren’t assuming he would pay. Or try The Fake Wallet Reach! Reach for your bag slowly, waiting for him to stop you and say: ‘No, I insist.’
Myth Busted: Most guys will pay for a girl on the first date if they want to make you feel special but if he doesn’t, don’t write him off immediately. He might just have different values in the beginning of a relationship.
Myth Three – The friend zone rule
Myth: If nothing happened between you after a few weeks/months – you become friends and then it can’t turn into a relationship.
The Problem: Many guys and girls believe that if the man doesn’t make a move within a certain amount of time, it’s too late and they’ve moved into The Friend Zone, never to return. Then, if you wait too long you don’t want to risk ruining ‘The Friendship.’
How to cope: Chemistry is chemistry, and if it’s there, it won’t fizzle out for a while. On the contrary, friendship can be a great base for a relationship.
Myth Busted: Take into account that he’s your friend so he might not want to embarrass himself. Just because he hasn’t made a move yet doesn’t mean he’s not interested. He may be working up the courage or waiting for the right time to say something.
Myth Four – The Three Date Rule
Myth: You can’t sleep with a guy before or after the third date.
Problem: You got a bit frisky on the first date and you regret it. Or you got to the third, fourth and even fifth date and wanted to get to know him better. Now you’re panicking.
How to cope: Forget this rule. Sleep with someone when you feel like sleeping with someone. Whether you got a little overexcited about each other the first night or whether you decide to wait months or even until you get married, it’s whatever you want yourself.
Myth busted: It will work if it’s meant to.
Myth Five – He’s Intimidated By You
Myth: He no longer wants to see you because you are so brilliant/successful/brainy.
Problem: You go on a few dates with this guy and he ditches you or stops returning your calls. You immediately surmise that he must have been intimidated. After all, you are an amazing, spectacular woman. He clearly could not deal with it.
How to cope: Women with lots going for them – attractive professionals, especially – will tell themselves that the reason the object of their affection isn’t responding to their flirtation is because he’s just overawed by their credentials, looks, or financial standing. But if he doesn’t return your calls and tells you it’s not working, that’s exactly what he means! Accept it and move on.
Myth: This myth just isn’t true. Face it ‘he’s just not that into you.’
Myth Six – He’s Teasing You Because he Likes You.
Myth: The guy you like/are dating says nasty things to you and constantly challenges you.
Problem: We’ve been fed this line ever since we came home crying about little Johnny’s spitballs in 3rd class. While it may have been true for young boys, a grown man who tries to put you off balance with verbal sparring on the first few dates doesn’t really care that much about you – or is playing games. A man who really likes you will not risk offending you.
How to cope: Tell him to grow up.
Myth: A guy who likes you will be nice to you. He may dabble in banter and the type of teasing that makes you laugh – but he won’t put you on the defensive.