Beauty Essentials…

There are so many products out there for women that at times it may boggle the mind. However, when you get to the grand old age of 26 you become more astute at weeding out the rubbish from the useful.
I won’t lie, I’m an adventurous girl at heart. Usually writing articles about make up and products bore me to tears, but if you want to be adventurous, you have to be practical… And no one wants practical to mean, a pair of birkenstocks, unshaven armpits and god forbid, minger hair.

Below I have detailed my top ten favourite Most Useful Products for every self respecting girl, without breaking the bank – to make sure as Tyra says, you’re always looking fierce! (Wow… I think I just got sick in my mouth a tiny bit…)

"See the difference? I'm smizing in this one..."

1. DRY SHAMPOO – Oh my God, number one holy grail… Any girl who doesn’t own a bottle of dry shampoo, either you’ve got majorly dry hair and you’re very lucky, or you’ve just been living in a cave like, forever.
I used to use it only for festivals when there was no other option except a gross shower full of disease, or a four day unwashed horror hairdo.
Many of my friends lives have been vastly improved by this product. I can confess, I spent the last 10 years of my life washing my hair every single day (bar the odd lazy Sunday of course) because Im one of those unlucky people who has a greasy complexion AND straight hair. This equally total mare in the hair department. But recently I discovered the answer. It means half an hour on my hair every second day, but it still saves time. I wash my hair, dry it, curl it (grease can’t move down curls as easily as it can straight hair), comb it through so its more wavy then curls, back comb it so that its lovely and big and bed-hairish, and then  the second day I spray a bit of a dry shampoo on it and Im good to go again. Similarly, its great for people with curly or frizzy hair. Once you’ve gone through the time consuming bitch that is straightening it/having it blow dried in the salon… you can make it last twice as long with the help of the lovely dry shampoo. Dry shampoo, time saving since whenever you were invented. I salute you.  

Champions among men

2. THE COMMON SHAVER – Hello, I’m your common shaving device. I am plastic and innocent and non-flamboyant. But can you imagine a world without me?! THE HORROR. Can you imagine it? Twud be like living in France in the 1850s… You wouldnt be able to tell the men from the girls, or the apes from the girls for that matter…

I'm the reason he didn't dump yo ass

3. HOME HAIR DYE – This might not be for everyone… I know some people are very particular about their hair… and can I gently say to those people… GET THE HELL OVER IT! Its hair not apartheid! Why are you so afraid of your own hair?  Salons, filled with savvy jacintas, make billions by saying things like “You need to get rid of all dem split ends love” or “You really couldn’t go blonde, not with that hair…” Listen. One think I know from not listening to hair dressers EVER is that they mainly talk crap. My hair is in wonderful condition, and I go to the hairdresser about once every two years. I dye it at home with Clairol every 6 weeks and its a beautiful colour. It looks sort of natural/just suits me, and guess how much it costs? Not hundreds… 6 euro every 6 weeks… Trust me, I LOVE my hair. I would spend the money on it if I thought it would make me look better, but the fact is, it actually doesn’t.   

4. Probiotics and Multivitamins – Every self-respecting party girl should know something. If you wanna drink every weekend, and live life in the fast lane (aka work hard and play hard) you need to look after yourself. Health comes from the inside and glows out in an irradecent beauty… kind of like a glow worm. If you’re binge drinking every weekend (and why shouldn’t you, you look fabulous in that dress!) then taking a daily probiotic keeps your stomach happy and your mood postitive. Alcohol depletes vitamins and so does eating rubbish. If you’re one of those ‘eat the sandwich on the go’ and have a ready meal when you get in type of gals, a good multivitamin (I’d recommend Multibionta probiotic multivitamin) can keep you away from sickness. After all, getting sick is boring… 

5 A Black Leather Jacket – They’re so in at the moment. The smaller the better. Sandy from Grease, eat your heart out.

"You betta shape up... cos I need a man..."

6. Coffee – Oh hell yeah. Every girl needs  a good coffee! Not the instant kind either. Im talking getting yourself one of those proper expresso machines or getting it made in the coffee shop. And Im not talking about this poncy starbucks shite either. None of this extra hot, extra wet, skinny tall frappalapachino with cream and hazelnut syrup. Go in and get yourself a proper manly double expresso and see how your productivity increases ten fold, without the extra sugar and calories… then down it like a man!

Down it in one

7. Pluckers – Im not an eyebrow plucker, Im an eyebrow pluckers son… No one wants to date quasi modo. If it wasn’t for these bad boys, Im sure I’d been languishing on some street corner begging somewhere in Equador… no one hires uni-brow girl. No matter how dope her ride is…

8. Hairspray – Keeping Bon Jovi in business since the 80s… or I don’t know, something like that. While rock stars of yore might have created that hole in the ozone by using so much hairspray. Do them a favour and keep it growing. No one likes a quitter. And no one likes flat or unruly hair for that matter. Show your unruly hair the door… 

9. Good Make up – Its not about money. Get yourself a good foundation (you don’t need to break the bank… 10 – 12 euro will buy you a decent one that lasts for ages) and get yourself a nice mascara – same price should do it, 10 – 12 euro or so, one of the brand names. Eyeliner doesn’t matter so much on the price I find, but make sure it works properly before you buy it by testing it on your hand. You need one of the soft kohl ones. I recently found a store that sells amazing eyeliners for a euro with a sharpener built into to the lid. Eyeshadow wise, I think its good to invest too – find out what colours suit you and invest in a good few and look after them. They last so long and are an investment. I can’t speak for the Mac range but I hear they’re excellent. I personally find Maybelline and Max Factor just great… oh and Sephora… but they’re not in Ireland yet sadly 😦

10. Matt Powder – If you’re a greasy faced person like me, this stops the shine. It means you dont have to redo your make up and don’t even up looking like you’ve just come out of a sauna. Buy one nice brush. I got mine in the Body Shop two years ago. Its proper hair, cost about 25 euro and is lovely and soft. It washes well and is great for applying powder over my shine after a few hours of being out and about.


Beauty wipes

Is that a spot I see? Hell no! Oh no he didn’t! I recently went on holiday. I bought face wipes. I now have THREE spots, including a massive one on my chin. They should rename face wipes – “spot creators of the universe” Someone please stop them making them. And please stop buying them. We need to protest against this scourge sweeping the world…

Look at them so innocently sitting there. Like they think we don't know what they're really up to...


Its not a product but it ages you. Need I say more?