Five Reasons Why Guys Who Dig You, Dump You
Most of us have been there. You thought everything was going fabulous with your man until next thing you know you’ve been handed a one way ticket to dumps-ville.
Then, just as you start to feel happy again and stop ordering take-away’s every night, phrases like “He’s just wasn’t that into you,” start being bandied around by your mates and every magazine you happen to pick up.
The fact is – there is nothing more upsetting then when a guy dumps you that you damn well knew was into you. Even worse is when he uses the worn out excuse, “Its not you, it’s me.” But what if he was telling the truth – what if it wasn’t you and it really was him? We explore the reasons behind why some men end things instead of committing…
1. His timing is off
This one is classic. Ever known that couple that were together four or five years and even moved in together only for the man to end it all when marriage magazines started turning up around the house? At the time, through your pity for the girl, you might have smugly thought he was just another commitment phobe (which of course you would have noticed well in advance) – but the next thing you know a few years later, he’s married the girl he was dating for just ten months! You’re shocked and appalled. So what was the problem with the first girl? He was into her, she was into him and the whole thing looked destined for an amazing future. Here’s the answer: women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious when they’re ready to settle down – ie. When their mates do, when they’ve finished college, or when they’ve bought that ridiculous looking jeep that they’ve always wanted.
2. He’s not done being a player
Whatever age a man is, if he’s not finished playing the field then he’ll be dubious about settling down. Competitive by nature, if men think there is a possibility of them getting someone better in the looks department – (ie someone who will make their friends green with envy) they might end up wondering if this is as good as it gets. The grass is always greener on the other side. No matter how great the woman they have is, they’ll still wonder about other women if they’re not done playing the field…
3. He fears for the future
The sex might be fabulous and everything might be hunky dory now, but that doesn’t stop a man from thinking ahead to the ghost of the what-might-she-be-like future. Be aware when you’re stuffing chicken wings into your gob across the table from him or digging into that last slice of cheesecake in your baggy pyjamas, he’s mentally labelling it for future reference: evidence she’ll change for the worse.
Whether you pile on the pounds, start nagging them about the bins or completely turn into your aunt complete with lashings of unwaxed body hair, it could be the worst case scenario in his head which sees him running for the hills.
4. Its not the big L
This one ain’t easy to swallow and might not make a heartbroken girl feel any better but here’s how it is: you might be a fabulous girl, with the best body in the whole of Irelandand a cracking personality but it doesn’t mean he’ll love you. He may like you a lot, but you just might not be his cup of tea. Just because a guy likes you a lot isn’t a guarantee that it will evolve into love. So why do men invest any time in a relationship that they know will end because she’s not ‘The One’? Because they’re able to live in the moment, unlike us planning obsessed ladies. Unfortunately, once you show you’re more into them then they are into you, they’ll dump you out of guilt.
5. He’s just too into you
This one may sound dubious and highly unrealistic. Why would someone break up with a girl they were mad about for pity’s sake? Simple: they’re scared of being hurt. Brave as they might be about ridding your house of spiders, when it comes to emotional issues the can be awful cowards. If they start to feel like they’re getting into a situation where they’ll be destroyed if you dump them, dumping you first may feel like the only option. You having all that power over him is not only pretty daunting but he’d hate to look heartbroken in front of his mates. In his mind, it’s better to act like a winner before you turn him into a loser. That way he can stay ‘strong-like-warrior’.